DH had a nightmare last night that I left him. He's a lazy SOB sometimes but I still love him. I felt bad for him, he was really upset. He said we were at a party and I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore and left. Then when he got home all my stuff was gone. I have NO plans to pull a Houdini. LOL. But what I didn't tell him is that if that were really happening, it would be HIS stuff that was gone. Not mine.

I have a fine life. I'm healthy, have a loving family and friends, good paying job, cozy house, newish car, lots of hobbies and interests, but I'm damn tired of not having a romantic partner. I was married for many years and loved it. Then several years after divorce I was in a LTR until I realized it wasn't a healthy relationship (not abusive, but some deal breakers). I've been alone for a long time now and I hate it. I'm tired of doing every single thing either with girlfriends or alone. I miss the physical intimacy and other aspects of the relationship that only a partner can provide. I'm putting myself out there, but so far it's crickets.

He got the required card, put it on the table without a word then asked what’s for breakfast. I had hoped for a lunch or dinner out but he’s in the mood for freakin’ cereal!! Why do I always hope for something I’m never gonna get??

Me too ladies. I work and do everything. He sleeps til noon; smokes weed, and rotates between phone; tv and computer. I’ve told him over and over how I feel and what I need. He acts so shocked and then hair forgets it. He legit does to understand and when I leave he’ll act so blindsided. It’s fucking ridiculous.

That's sad that you were surprised that your DH picked you over his friend.. Esp one that he's only had a few years.

DH has made a friend a few years ago that I'm not really fond of. Nothing terrible, they are just a bit annoying, and we have never connected. Friend is having a hard time right now with being alone during Covid, and insisting on more and more of DH's time (which DH is happy to give) while they deal with mental health issues. In the meantime, I've been through an increasingly stressful time for other reasons, and I'm at the point where I have stopped eating and sleeping. Yesterday, the friend said something asshole-ish to me on text, and I told DH I couldn't deal anymore. I said DH needs to make a decision on who comes first, me or the friend. I honestly didn't know which way he would go, but he didn't hesitate to pick me. I'm pleasantly surprised.

H once said he didn't understand why women say they're always exhausted with everything they have to do. "Like what?" he asked. So I asked HIM - who cooks for ME every day? (No one) Who does MY laundry for ME? (No one) Who does all the cleaning? (You) Who does the grocery shopping? (You) *light bulb goes off* But then, he called me the other day from his business trip to talk about the bills and asked what I was doing. I said I was cleaning. He goes, "Every time I call you, you're cleaning. I cleaned the house when I left two weeks ago, I can't imagine what there is to do." I asked if he'd dusted, vacuumed, scrubbed the tub, washed out the cat's food & water dishes and litter box, cleaned the shower curtains, dusted the blinds, cleaned the mirrors, washed the walls, scrubbed the kitchen cabinets, cleaned out the microwave, stove & fridge...he said no. So I said, "Then you didn't clean the house. You did, however, leave it tidy." *crickets*

" BTW, if all I did was sat on my ass while someone else did literally EVERYTHING, I would be happy too.".... THIS! So. Much. This. This is what men don't understand. Of course YOU are happy. You're sitting on your ass playing online games and NOT cleaning the kitchen and NOT vacuuming the floor and NOT making dinner and when I come home from work and find a cluttered mess and then have to clean the kitchen BEFORE I can start making dinner because you made yourself lunch and didn't clean up after yourself. When I left for work, the kitchen was clean. Because I fucking cleaned it last night. And yes, I have asked for help. Every single time I ask I'm met with sighs and eyerolls general pissiness. You're a grown man, I'm not gonna beg you for help. But just know if this goes on long enough, the feeling of 'my life would be easier and better without you' .. Yeah well I just might make that happen. I don't mind doing everything. For myself. But for you? Not so much.

Motherfucker you can't even go to the grocery store ... with a list that I MADE... without calling me to whine about how difficult your day is? Should I mention that you're calling me AT WORK? OMG why do I let you live in my house again?

I've been looking. The other night I was on the phone with my friend talking about it (I go outside now when I have to talk about things like this) and then came in the house, turned out all the lights and crawled around with a flashlight looking under the tables and chairs and such. My mom said to look for a hidden camera as well, and to check the vents. I just personally replaced the smoke detectors so I know nothing's there. Still looking. But I also thought about what you suggested, making up a story about something wild to see if he takes the bait. I don't think he's put anything on my phone or laptop because they are protected with passwords no one would be able to figure out.